Turned the television on, some dude was on the screen,

Asked me for some money for his “quest”

Called for help from angels – enter teenage nubile queen,

Clad in robes that barely covered breast.

Batting two-inch eyelids, she explained the Church’s need,

Pastor Peter patted her behind;

Smiled and said the night before his palms began to bleed,

When he woke this morning he was blind!

Prayed the Lord for aid and Lo! A tender, helping hand

Touching him, and curing all his ills;

Glory and Hosanna, that before us he could stand,

Faith was so much better than the pills.

Then another angel entered, redhead, lovely, choice;

Pastor Peter smiled, she kissed his cheek;

Asked us for donations with a squeaky, whiny voice,

Legs? Oh yeah! But God, don’t let her speak!

“Yesterday I saw the Light” said Peter with a grin,

“Had my body washed with Holy soap,

Cleaned up all the dirt outside, and emptied me within,

Yes, my flock, I found that I had Hope!”

Both girls held his arms on high as he intoned his plight:

“Brothers, feel the Spirit coming through;

Look, here on my left is Faith, and Hope is on my right.

Charity? My friends, that’s up to you!”

  more of my FUNNY POEMS here