Changing the guard down at Looking-glass Palace,

Feeling a buzzing, I knew I was Alice;

Falling and smalling and grinning a grin

Suddenly – there was the Queen – I was in.

Chess board, the pieces were black and then white,

I kissed a bishop, then mounted a knight;

Dormouse was coaching, he whispered: “The fools,

You are the Master here, you wrote the rules!”

“In my youth” said the President “I smoked some weed,

My brain changed from Dodo to Duchess;

As I marched hare and there playing croquet for greed,

I wanted the world – I got much less.”

Mock Turtle questioned us: “Who Stole the Tarts?”

No-one confessed, caterpillar played darts;

Whiting and Lobsters then danced a quadrille,

I ate a cookie and felt rather ill.

“Can you write a little faster?” said the poet to the hack,

“I’ve a January deadline and the boss is on my back;

Wear these kid gloves, become curiouser, fall into a trance...

We will welcome all and sundry as they come and join the dance.”

“Off with her head” said the Queen. that was that!

Happy Unbirthday! how mad, with no hat;

Suddenly rabbit was served on a plate,

Clocks started ticking, I knew it was late.

“Tweedle-dee-dum” were the magic words spoken,

Mushrooms now shriveled, the wondrous spell broken;

Back in my bedroom, the croak of a toad

Draws my attention to Yellow Brick Road.