I strode into the bank and asked the teller for a loan,

he answered that he’d check his boss and see,

then walked into the office, and I heard an awful moan,

they must have seen my credit history!

I trudged outside, my car was gone and I was rather narked,

the crime rate in the city is a pest,

but then I saw the note where I had previously parked:

“Hello, Goodbye. Your car is re-possessed!”

I caught the bus, was late to work, the boss was looking rough,

I guess the pressure made him very tired,

he said I’d been on borrowed time, but now I’d had enough,

they’d try somebody else, cause I was fired!

I walked down to the bar and ordered vintage whisky mash,

a cool drink in my hand and I relaxed,

the barmaid grabbed my glass and she insisted I pay cash,

apparently, my credit card was maxxed!

I sat down in the diner, ordered steak and eggs to go,

plus coffee and a sandwich on a plate,

politely they informed me that they had to see my dough,

I couldn’t have my dinner on the slate!

I walked home past the library, received some filthy looks,

the head girl said: “I wish to speak with you.”

She showed me all the figures, seems I’d borrowed sixty books,

and fifty-nine of them were overdue!

I made it home at last and put my key into the door,

it wouldn’t turn, I tried to use some force,

that didn’t work – and then I saw court papers on the floor,

my wife had won possession, and divorce!

I ended up in jail, of course, I tried a life of crime,

I hit that bank just like an Al Capone,

what rotten luck, the vaults were empty, not a measly dime,

the money was on temporary loan!

I’ve borrowed all my life and left repayments up to fate,

and now I’m old and feeling rather sick,

but if my days are over and I see St. Peter’s gate

I’ll ask him for another year on tick!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here