They hired a new apprentice; he's the Boss's youngest son,

according to his Father, well, the sun shines from his bum!

he has an education from two universities...

construction workers don't care much for bloody arts degrees!

He turned up in his Reeboks, he was half an hour late,

with ponytail and glasses and his lunch upon a plate,

all wrapped in see-through plastic, with an apple and a plum,

and noodles spelling out the words: "I love you, darling. Mum."

I copped him on the second shift, and showed him what to do,

he sat and watched me sweat and strain, complained that he was new,

and wanted to observe us blokes and pick up all our tricks;

it doesn't take no magic wand to carry bloody bricks!

At lunch I nearly fainted, he had napkins made of silk,

a silver-plated knife and fork, and microwaved his milk!

explained that he preferred it warm to spare a dicey tooth,

but when he sucked a chocolate straw, the plumber muttered: "Strewth!"

The afternoon went slowly, though I doubt he felt the same,

too busy shooting aliens on his computer game!

a load of timber turned up late, I gave the lad a nudge,

he said he couldn't miss his Mum, and wouldn't bloody budge.

Each day was much the same, he'd clock his card and take a seat,

he couldn't handle winter's cold and hated summer heat,

allergic to hard yakka - and averse to raising sweat,

this silver-spooned young bludger was as lazy as you get!

The weeks turned into months, the little mongrel wouldn't work,

the Christmas Party came around, our yearly drunken perk,

but there the boss stood up and gave a speech that drew a tear,

a Christmas bonus for his son: Employee of the Year!
 

More of my FUNNY POEMS