The doors open.

Shoving aside vanity and greed,

I shoulder my way to the Character queue.

“Next”

I’d like some character, please…

No! I don’t want to BE a character,

I’d like a personality

Oh…wrong line…Damn

two hours later

“Next”

I’d like a personality, please…

No! I don’t want to host a TV show

I want something of substance

Oh…wrong line…Damn – Um can I pay some money and-oh

two hours later

“Next”

I’d like to be a character

with a personality with substance.

No such thing?

What about Gandhi? Mother Theresa?

Oh, humility line, OK, look, is there any way…oh, I see

two hours later

“Next”

I’d like to be humble, please

Yes, I DO mind if I have to wait a bit longer!

Tomorrow? You’re closing now? You’re kidding!

You know what I’ve been through today?

You know what it’s like out here?

Do you realize who I am?

Fine! Forget it!

I’ll just stay the way I am now…see you in Hell!