A cowboy walked into a bar and slumped upon a stool,

he threw a large tequila down and said: "I've been a fool!

Eliza Jane had promised me that I would be the one -

and now I find she's walking out with Jake the banker's son!"

A gambler drinking whisky heard his story and was moved,

he said: "I've loved a lot of girls, and this one thing I've proved:

They promise you a life of joy, of love and laughs and song,

then leave - the very instant someone better comes along!"

The guy at the piano said: "I loved this girl in Maine,

she had a smile and figure that would drive a man insane,

I asked the question, she said yes, but never said 'I do'

she left me for a guy who played guitar and fiddle, too!"

"My sweet Marie," the barman said, "so pretty, young and clean,

we planned to make our future somewhere west of Abilene,

I went off on a cattle drive and left her all our dough,

she ran off with some outlaw - they're still down in Mexico."

The Sheriff moseyed over, "Love ain't all it's said to be,

I fell in love when I was young and just a deputy,

I sold my horse to buy her stuff, to dress her up in furs,

but then she wed some other guy 'cause he had bigger spurs!"

The cowboy bought them all a drink - they toasted single life,

the guy at the piano sang about a cheating wife,

a few drinks more and every man inside the bar was mad,

and cursing every girl on Earth for treating them so bad.

The bar doors slowly opened and a pretty girl stepped in,

she batted huge black lashes and flashed all the men a grin:

"Well, hello, boys, I'm Rita-Mae, and I've just moved to town,"

a dozen six-guns fired at once, and cut the woman down.

It seems she hadn't noticed that no females were around,

they all live out on Garter Hill, and six feet under ground,

oh yes, the West was wild, and quite dangerous back then,

she never should have came to Stag - the town of jilted men.

The sequel: STAG PARTY

more of my FUNNY POEMS here