Robert didn't realize his snoring woke the dead,

in coma every night from ten till six,

the decibels that emanated from his truckle bed

intoned to hell, and crossed the river Styx.

As Satan woke from diabolic dreams he cried a curse:

"Who dares to wake the Devil from his nap?"

A zombie gave him Robert's name, and then to make things worse,

he showed him how to get there on a map!

The Devil got to Dallas and he jumped upon a bus,

the driver ran away to stay alive;

old Satan looked around the folks on board and made no fuss,

but simply asked "Can anybody drive?"

A succubus knocked on the door of Robert's house that night,

as Mephistopheles stood on the road,

he wondered if to argue was the way to do things right -

perhaps just metamorph him to a toad?

And then three imps appeared and dragged poor Robert to the lawn,

a werewolf growled and neighbor's lights went out,

then Robert looked in Satan's eyes, and, stifling a yawn

he asked him "What the Hell is this about?"

The prince of Darkness caught his breath - this mortal dared to speak?

his pitchfork glowed, a rabid banshee swore,

then Robert felt a blast of sulfur breath upon his cheek

the Ghoul leaned close and whispered: "Mate - You Snore!"

Well, everything is fine, although I don't know what was done,

and Robert now sleeps silently in bed,

though every single morning, as the light creeps from the sun

a demon comes, and gives him back his head!

More of my FUNNY POEMS