|
I met this
incredible sheilah
I took her home,
then tried to feel her
but there on her
couch
I gave a loud
"OUCH!"
her chaperone was a
rottweiler!
I went to a dog
show at Krupps
unfortunately, deep
in my cups,
a basset hound,
lying
tripped me, I went
flying
into trophies and
ribbons and pups!
I lived in Alaska
with ease
no worries, not
once did I freeze
I slept with my
pinscher
and when it was
winter
I dragged in my
three pekinese!
A chihuahua with
determination
tried to rise well
above his low station
he is now so much
sadder
cos he fell off his
ladder
whilst trying to
bonk an alsation!
Forgive me but I
have the hots
for that cute
little number in spots
you're crying
damnation
cos she's a
dalmation?
how about that
chow...I like her lots!
A man sat and
talked to a dingo
who hadn't a clue
re the lingo
the man said" I'm
rude,
can I offer you
food?"
The dingo just
grinned and said "Bingo!"
My beagle was
feeling quite poor
and left a big poo
on my floor
as I aimed for his
jewels
to teach him the
rules
he farted and ran
out the door!
A cat burglar crept
on a boat
"Plenty to steal"
did he gloat
as he tiptoed on
deck
felt the teeth grip
his neck
the doberman ripped
out his throat!
I once took a sheep
dog to bed
"fabulous sex"
someone said
as try as I might
that bastard would
bite
all I got was a pat
on the head!
A mongrel was
looking quite glum
did not know his
dad or his mum
a saint bernard
beauty
came along, did her
duty,
he burped and said
"thanks for the rum."
I took my dog out
for a walk
with a lady I
started to talk
she was so overcome
with the smell from
his bum
that I plugged up
his arse with a cork!
A malamute said to
a peke
"I ain't had a crap
for a week,
I've only peed
twice
and it came out as
ice,
my bum's frozen,
I'm up the creek!"
I taught my small
doggie to ride
(regrets I have
now, I confide)
I encouraged him:
"Ride Far!"
he fastened a
sidecar
and pissed off with
my brand new bride!
You know nature
quite often calls,
I've been known to
defile a few walls
You call me a dog?
Well, my brain is
agog!
Never once have I
licked my own balls!
I realized love was
a folly
Lost Holly and
Polly and Dolly,
Now I live a great
life
Coz I have a fine
wife
See, I married my
cute border collie!
LIMERICKS MAIN
PAGE
|
