Old Dorrie got her license last October,

and bought a little Morris, coloured pink,

she promised she would only drive when sober,

coz sadly, Dorrie liked a drop to drink.

The Lawn Bowls Club on Thursdays - always busy,

and this day Dorrie's team had won the plate,

they danced and drank until they all were dizzy,

with champagne helping them to celebrate.

Her friend, Bernice, was obviously tipsy,

she staggered round the bar, in stocking feet

"I'm Jezebel, the world's most sexy gypsy!"

Then fainted on a plate of cheese and meat.

So Dorrie found herself out on the freeway,

the breeze felt good, the radio was fun,

her friend was sleeping, leaving her some leeway

to squint and turn two white lines into one.

As Bernice started snoring, she drove faster,

then gasped as flashing lights came into view,

Police! A likely menu for disaster,

she stopped her car and wondered what to do.

The young policeman tipped his hat politely,

"Please blow into the bag," she gave a shrug,

as Dorrie blew, the three red lights glowed brightly,

they dragged her off and threw her in the jug.

The next day in the court room Dorrie listened,

the Judge intoned a sermon from a book,

it said that drinking drivers be imprisoned,

and then he gave old Dorrie one quick look.

"Not Guilty!" cried His Honor - what a let off!

She walked out free and heard reporters scream:

"How come the Judge decided you could get off?"

Old Dorrie smiled and said: "He's on my team!"

More of my FUNNY POEMS