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  English - a funny spelling poem by Australian poet Graeme King - funny poems, sad poems, serious poems and romantic poems. Poems for children, nature poems and environment poems, flash poetry, fantasy poems, funny limericks and more ©kingpoetry2007.


a funny poem showing the vagaries of spelling in English

I’d like to learn to spell, but please, can someone show me how?

I’m not much good at English, nowhere near as good as thou,

Some words can leave me crying somewhat like a cat’s miaow,

I dangle in the spelling like a swing hangs from a bough.


“I’ll never master spelling” is my daily waking thought,

I try hard to remember all the words that I’ve been taught;

“Rules must be obeyed?” a tort! It’s nothing of the sort,

I’m thwarted everywhere I turn, I’m under stress, I’m taut!


I need some help from someone - do you think it might be you?

Just a soupcon of tuition, that would help me through;

You have such beauty in your words, I’d be a writer, true,

The English language, known by all but spelt right by too few.


I want to mold the words into a snowball I can throw,

I want to be a writer just like Edgar Allen Poe;

I’d knead a dough of poetry that every girl and beau

Could say with love, as into Cupid’s heaven they did go.


The ways these letters may be stirred – finally I have concurred

I’m not a nerd, or even smart, in fact I find it quite absurd

To have two choices, maybe, but whenever there’s a third

I toss a coin and always say that famed four-lettered word.


more of my FUNNY POEMS here

Original pictures by Graeme King ©Kingpoetry2007  BACK to TOP

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