'

"I'll tell you something truthfully," said Peter J.
"A man would rather be back 'ome in bed;
Than wadin' through the water in the cold 'n wind 'n wet,
The wife was right, I've got rocks in me head.

"The bloody kids are makin' noise like banshees in a fit!
The battery's goin' dead and I can't see;
I feel like goin' 'ome but then I'd be a rotten sport,
And Christ, I wish I 'ad a cuppa tea!

"It's gettin' darn near midnight and me eyes are gettin' dull,
I wish I'd bought a six-pack of cold beer!
But I'm wadin' through the water with me undies gettin' wet,
And I tell you what, there ain't no fish round 'ere.

"The kids are 'aving fun, they're splashin' round and spearin' toads,
I can see 'em over there in froth and foam;
And Shaunie's just fell down and gone in right up to 'is neck,
He'll cop it from 'is Mum when we get 'ome.

"This backpack's gettin' 'eavy and me shoulder's gettin' numb,
And walkin' through the water's gettin' hard;
I can think of lotsa places that a man would rather be,
Christ, I'd rather milk the cows back in the yard!

"Well, I'm walkin' through the water and I'm feeling pretty crook,
Alright you little buggers, let's go 'ome!
All I've got tonight is achin' feet and bleary eyes,
The next time I'll go spearin' on me own!"

more of my FUNNY POEMS here