Young Harry woke with quite a start and peered into the gloom,

he groped but couldn't find his specs to don,

a feeling told him someone else was right there in the room,

myopically he peered - "Is that you, Ron?"

His wayward glasses came to hand, his eyesight now was clear,

a boy was standing over near the door -

as recognition dawned on him he lost his early fear,

'twas Dobby - impish elf of Griffindor!

"Oh Master Potter," cried the imp, "Poor Dobby's in a fix,"

he bounced around the room in quite a tizz,

"This poor elf needs the help of magic's little box of  tricks -

a wizard's spell - and you're the best there is!"

"A house elf needs no wizard, Dobby, you were magic bred,

I've seen you make those mops and sweepers twirl"

"But this is far too big for me, I'm in over my head,

I've met a...Master Potter...met a girl!"

"Ha ha!" laughed Harry, "Elfish love, and you need wizard's aid?

I think you'll find some pills there on the shelf,"

"Oh no," said Dobby, "I don't want the magic for the maid,

I need a spell to work upon myself!

"Don't laugh now Master Potter, I can see you roll your eyes,

but you don't understand poor Dobby's plight,

a modern girl is looking for a boyfriend who has size,

and on the score of length...I'm rather light!"

The door burst open, Ron rushed in, Hermione in tow,

"We heard the voices, wondered who was here"

as Harry told the story they were quickly in the know,

relieved to find the house elf wasn't queer.

Hermione produced her wand, and spoke to Dobby's crotch,

"Expendus Splendus!" Harry heard her say,

Unfortunate - the spell was right - but she forgot to watch,

her wand was pointed right where Potter lay!

That spell could only work the once, so Dobby missed out bad,

but Harry's legend echoed Hogwarts Hall:

The wizard with the powers he obtained from Mum and Dad,

and in his pants - the biggest spell of all!

Hermione and Harry were an item after that,

and Hogwarts heard the sound of wedding bells,

with seven kids in seven years the wizardry went flat,

but honestly, they had no need for spells!

Occasionally a youngster will invoke the Potter name,

and speak in awe of legends from beyond,

as wizards came and went one record always stayed the same:

The stunning length of Harry Potter's wand!