I’ve always been a man of many talents,

but never bragged or stated I was tough,

when times are bad and life hangs in the balance

I face up to the world and call its bluff.

If famine strikes I’ll fast and bite the bullet

and sacrifice myself for fellow man,

should evil wear a chain then I will pull it,

and flush the devil down the toilet pan.

I’ll never sell my soul for silver dollars,

or walk away from trouble if it comes,

I’ve learned a creed of life not taught to scholars,

or earned by those who sit and twiddle thumbs.

My purpose here on Earth is clear as crystal,

I’m here to help preserve our way of life,

no need to start a war or fire a pistol,

or hold the world to ransom with a knife.

I never ask for thanks, it’s my vocation,

don’t label me a hero or a saint,

I stepped right in to save the situation,

and did what must be done without complaint.

If you should write the book, I want it noted

that I was there, to heed my country’s plea,

I walked up to that polling booth and voted,

but if the guy’s a dud – well don’t blame ME!

 more of my FUNNY POEMS here