A bloke died in an accident and woke up down in Hell,

he hadn't lived a Godly life up here,

he felt the heat and smelled the brimstone, heard a muffled yell,

no wonder that he felt a little fear.

A sudden flash of light and Satan stared into his face,

his pitchfork glowed and gave off evil smoke,

he gave an impish grin and chuckled: "Welcome to my place -

I hope you like it here - You want a coke?"

He stammered no, the Devil said: "It's not all doom and gloom,

you choose your own eternity from me,

just have a little look around and pick your favorite room,

there's three that you can choose from - let's go see!"

The first room that they looked at seemed to be a trifle cruel,

but this was Hades - what did he expect?

The people swam around in crap - the room a swimming pool,

he shuddered and he said to Satan: "Next!"

The second room had people standing in a giant pit,

they looked all filthy, then he saw the rest -

at seven-minute intervals, a giant wave of shit

would flood the room until it reached their chest!

He shook his head, so Satan showed him chamber number three,

the people stood around in knee-deep poo,

despite the lower tide-mark, they looked steeped in misery -

he shook hands with the Devil. "This'll do!"

So Satan took him in the room and gave a little bow,

his eyes turned into glowing shades of reds,

"All right, you pack of sinners, coffee break is over now,

so everybody - get back on your heads!"

 more of my FUNNY POEMS here