I went to light a smoke then saw the sign upon the wall:

"No Smoking here or face a hefty fine"

I put my pack away and ventured out into the hall,

inhaling sharply at a "Don't Smoke" sign.

The elevator opened and I hurried on inside,

and gave the button for the ground a poke;

was just about to light one up but suddenly espied

another bloody sign that said "Don't Smoke!"

I put my pack away again, and waited - for an age!

It seemed we made a stop at every floor;

a drawback in the lobby fairly made me burn with rage,

I looked around - no ash trays any more!

I walked into the cafe, and at last some sense prevailed,

I saw a shiny, sparkling clean ash tray;

but then I heard the waitress and my rosy humor paled,

she welcomed me to "No Tobacco Day!"

So rushing to the street I shoved a fag into my gob,

then saw the stupid yellow line and swore;

I put my pack away again, this new law makes me sob:

"No Smoking twenty feet from any door!"

I sat my butt upon a bench and fumbled for a light,

the people walking past looked at me sad;

I coughed a prayer to God for help, this really wasn't right!

I needed me a cigarette so bad!

I fell upon my knees and then the world began to spin,

a demon then appeared from Satan's pit;

I knew when I was licked and threw my pack into the bin,

and sent him packing with these words: "I QUIT!"

 more of my FUNNY POEMS here