Larry drove a lorry with his lovely little Mary,

she wanted him to hurry up, but Larry thought that scary,

then one night in a cheery mood he drank a quart of sherry,

his foot went down, her merry voice cried out: "To Tipperary!"

She carried Larry's photo, from that day they drove to Surrey,

her cherry lips all smiles and laughter, nary one to worry,

she'd kissed that furry pic so many times it looked all blurry,

so did she do some hari-kari? That was for the jury!

The merry lawyer grinned and told the court: "Extraordinary!

I ask you wary folk to check the facts, because they vary!

the evidence is hairy, like a desert dromedary,

please tarry with your verdict - this is NOT the man to bury!"

His words burned like a curry and the magistrate looked glary,

"Order!" cried his Honorary, like a shrill canary,

"All contrary statements make this case a real pot-pourri,

I declare he must go free - don't dare to feel my fury!"

So Larry drove a ferry for a while, so sad and sorry,

his beery brain cannot forget that evening in the quarry,

he disappeared one starry night, just near the cemetery,

some say you hear his "Mary" cries still now, out on the prairie.

more of my FUNNY POEMS here