Hardy: "Here's another mess you've got us into, Stan!"

Laurel: "Yes, but don't you see, it's part of my new plan -

I'm sick of all those movie-goers thinking I'm a fool,

so I enrolled the both of us - we're going back to school!"

Hardy: "School? I doubt they'll have us now, it's way too late."

Laurel: "Well, I told them you were nine and I was eight..."

Hardy: "Goodness gracious, Stanley, I'll rue this, I bet"

Laurel: "By this time next week you'll be the teacher's pet."

Hardy: "Well we need to move, that last job turned out bad"

Laurel: "And they threw us out with everything we had!"

Hardy: "What about my plan to join the Foreign Legion?"

Laurel: "Well, I'd much prefer to be an old collegian!"

Teacher: "Who can tell me what is five time two times three?"

Hardy: "Now what will we do? He's looking straight at me!"

Laurel: "Use you fingers Ollie, then you use your toes"

Hardy: "And my arms and teeth and kneecaps I suppose?"

Teacher: "Time for science, I shall give a little test:

What's the color when the sun is sinking in the West?"

Hardy: "You should know that, Stan, you see it every night"

Laurel: "Yes, but Ollie, my poor brain is black and white!"

Hardy: "School is not so bad, at chasey I'm the tops"

Laurel: "Lucky for those many years with Keystone Kops"

Hardy: "Stan, it turned out well, we'll stay till graduation"

Laurel: "Yes, it's fun here now - they've gone co-education!"