When Vista came out we cried: “Whee!”

but later, unfortunately,

we realize with shock

the damn thing’s a crock

and yearn for the days of XP!

My modem was smoking, oh dear...

the flames would be next to appear,

I shut down the set

I ain’t fixed it yet

Who needs it? I’d rather buy beer!

I entered the world of PC

the acronyms bamboozled me

with GIF, CPU

and chatroomspeak too

I soon headed back to T.V!

My technician’s first name was Cyrus

his habits were hardly desirous

he’d fix your PC if you sat on his knee

but then you’d be left with a virus!

I googled my name with aplomb

but wasn’t prepared for the bomb

I needed a drink

when I clicked on the link

it sent me to assholes.com!

A PC technician called Tom

was helping to double my Rom

I left for a sec

came back – what the heck?

he had logged in to porno.com!

I searched for a gif for my blog

a King with a face like a frog

I found one you see

who looked just like me

I shouldn’t have drank so much grog!

I went on to facebook for fun

and said I was George Bush’s son

the emails were bad

telling me to kill Dad

and one of them sent me a gun!

I met her in chat, she was neat

her photo was pretty, petite,

we met for a meal

I saw her for real

I screamed and then ran down the street!

I stayed up all night on the net

my girlfriend is Dutch: Juliette

I’m hooked on her site

ninety-five bucks a night

each day I get further in debt!

My printer will drive me to drink

I’m always refilling its ink

it empties my purse

to make matters worse

it’s usually on the blink!

I took a new mouse home last week

my girlfriend said I was a freak

I answered her “Please

just feed it some cheese

I’m sure that I just heard it squeak!”

My monitor went on the fritz

I ran to the store having fits

my new one is keen

webcam and wide screen

so now I can download nice tits!

MAIN LIMERICKS INDEX