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  Funny Fishing limericks by Australian poet Graeme King - funny original limericks on fishing and fishermen. ©kingpoetry2007.
 

FISHING LIMERICKS

My funny limericks about fish and fishing.

 

A mackerel was caught in my net

I thought of a seafood croquette

but he had the hide

to leap over the side

of my boat as he yelled "Wanna Bet?"

 

If seafood's your thing, come and see

of what has done wonders for me

a succulent meal

not a thing from a creel:

A lentil-based fish recipe!

 

Terry the turtle was sad

"The whalers have captured my Dad!

They grabbed him, you see

for a fish fricassee

as there were no whales to be had!

 

A dugong remarked to a trout:

"So what was that swordfish about?

I found him quite rude

with a bad attitude

and a pointy and dangerous snout!"

 

A tuna was pulled in my boat

One day while at sea and afloat

I said "What a fish!"

He replied: "Well, I wish

You would get this big hook from my throat!"

 

This fishing is really uncool

the way they hang out in a school

I know what they're taught:

how NOT to get caught...

and they label us fishermen cruel!

 

With ideas of bouillabaisse

I mashed up some tuna and plaice

but when I undid

the packet of squid

it squirted black ink in my face!

 

As I put a worm on my hook

it gave me a whimsical look

I threw my rod down

and drove into town

to purchase a chicken to cook!

 

My lure was the best you can buy

I flicked back my rod and let fly

my knot though was slack

it never came back

I sat down and had a good cry!

 

I wanted a champion bass

so lit fifty candles at mass

the priest blessed my rod

cause I gave him a cod

(the archbishop said it was crass).

 

'Twas early, the sun glowing gold

the water was bitter and cold

although turning blue

I was happy - I knew

that fishing is fun...so I'm told!

 

One thing about fishing I hate

is not all the boredom and wait

it's heading for shore

with a story so poor

cause the biggest thing hooked was your bait!

 

A halibut said to his Mum:

"That fisherman thinks that I'm dumb

he's tossed me a worm

I'm watching it squirm

I've only one thing to say: YUM!"

 

As Africa went through a famine

the people went out to catch salmon

as fish saw them come

one youngster said; "Mum

Look after yourself, cause I'm scrammin'!"

 

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Original pictures by Graeme King ©Kingpoetry2007  BACK to TOP

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