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  Funny hobo limericks by Australian poet Graeme King having a laugh at the world of bums and hoboes. ©kingpoetry2008.

My funny limericks about bums and hobos.

I pick up the butts from the street
My shoes have holes, look! there's my feet!
But really, I'm lucky
The roads of Kentucky
Supply me with plenty to eat.

I wait in the line marked with "Soups"
Along with the hundreds of troops
That march to the quay
Singing "sweet victory"
I'm in the wrong queue again - oops!

If I had just one silver dollar
I'd lie in the meadow and holler
I'd grab the black crow
Who comes circling low
And I'd chew it a while and then swoller!

Oh please, mister, buy me some wine?
I ain't had a drop since half-nine
I'm sober and flat
And I hate it like that
A bottle of claret - I'm fine!

So Christmas is coming again
That time when I think of back then
When I had a wife
and a house and a life
I'll give it a one out of ten...

I won't hurt you, Lady, don't fear,
I'll try and explain things, my dear
You see, I'm a tramp
And right here is my camp,
So move! Get your ass outta here!

A bum asked a nun for a buck
she knew he was down on his luck
she gave him a dime
said: "Have a good time,
but don't you go running amok!"

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Original pictures by Graeme King ©Kingpoetry2008  BACK to TOP

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