A lusty young sailor called Dan

had a clever and neat little plan

he'd find a girl boozin'

ask her to come cruisin'

and score on his catamaran!

Cabin-boy Billy was chosen

was washed and deloused with a hosin'

twas useless to fight

he was spending the night

with the over-sexed ugly old bosun!

A pirate, a randy old codger

had a very impressive long todger

he'd call into port

find himself a nice sort

and give her a good jolly roger!

To his cabin the gruff captain called him

Wined him and dined him, then balled him

"rape" he did say

and the very next day

with a sly grin the captain keelhauled him!

A gunner had hid his new bride

as his warship did sail with the tide

fired his cannon and heard

a screaming f-word

he'd forgotten that she was inside!

The Maritime Board held a trial

the lawyers produced a huge file

sex, drugs and rock

captain Ahab at dock

the judge said " Ahoy...like your style!"

The crew on the cruiser did rig it

The crowd on the dock seemed to dig it

A lady said "What

would you call such a yacht?"

A sailor close by mumbled "Frig it!"

A sailor from somewhere in Devon

from his carrier went straigh to heaven

"Just how did you die?"

he replied "Sadly, I

didn't notice the F-111"

A gunner sat there, drinking tea

as the battle raged on endlessly

the bosun yelled "Son...

they're three to our one!"

He looked up and said "Got my three!"

A pirate had buried some treasure

he'd dig the chest up at his leisure

then open the lid

where his blow-up doll hid

and there on the beach take his pleasure!

A one-legged pirate's wife, randy

saw her man was the worse from the shandy

not wanting to beg,

she grabbed his peg-leg

he watched and said "Blimey, tha’sh handy!"

A sailor woke up in a funk

the previous night he'd been drunk

tried all over town

but the girls turned him down

so he'd tossed himself off in his bunk!

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