That Locoweed is growing in my garden bed somewhere,

just yesterday, my cat came in the house,

he rode a skateboard round the room, and back flipped in the air,

then ran behind the fridge and kissed a mouse!

My dog has found the weed as well, I have no doubt of that,

he built an airplane from a packing case,

then flew around the yard until a man in Air Force hat

demanded he report back to the base!

Last week a lizard rang my bell, in cowboy hat and boots,

he asked for the saloon, I laughed of course,

but then he proved his six-gun was the kind that really shoots –

he killed my TV, then left on his horse!

The birds up in the trees now play their instruments all day,

the noise is really getting out of hand,

two parrots and a cockatoo and several birds of prey

have formed a punk rock heavy metal band!

My neighbor called me on the phone and said he must complain,

his hamster had escaped last Tuesday night,

on Thursday it returned from our place with a frazzled brain,

and T shirt printed: “Locoweed’s Alright!”

No-one’s prepared to listen to the tale I have to tell,

this Locoweed is driving me to drink,

at least because he gets to treat the animals as well,

I get a bulk buy discount from my Shrink!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here