If I came back as something in another dismal life

I bet it wouldn't be a King, or wealthy doctor's wife,

It wouldn't be a rainbow or a shiny colored gem,

I bet I'd re-incarnate as a bloody ATM.

Yep, I'd be jammed inside a wall of some Manhattan bank,

Defiled all day by people who've forgotten how to thank,

Impaled by grubby fingers and expected then to give

Some crispy brand-new banknotes - is that any way to live?

And what about the ones who try and bash my panel in?

And all because they're far too silly to recall their PIN,

It's not my fault, it's theirs! I tell you, life would be so hard,

As all I'd have for payback is to chew their credit card.

It's typical, the girls will finally wait in line, you see,

But all they'll want is money - not a single thought for me,

And how about the balance freaks who can't remember what

They have in their account - maybe I'll print out: "I forgot!"

Yes I can see it now: another life with stacks of dough,

And nothing I can spend it on, it's karma, don't you know,

The people punching me all day and going off their head

Because the credit charges put their balance in the red.

I'd better turn my life around, forget about success,

I'll overdraw my cheque book and I'll leave my bank a mess,

If I can die a pauper with a debt...or seventeen,

Then how the hell can I come back a stupid bank machine?

more of my FUNNY POEMS here