Big Derek joined a baseball team, so Cecil joined up too,

he'd never heard of strikes or high pop flies,

but didn't want his special friend to feel alone and blue -

or play a game with eight athletic guys!

They ran onto the field and Cecil tittered to his pal:

"Your uniform is really rather chic,

I'll put some gussets here and there with sequins and a bell,

we'll have you looking lovely in a week!"

Big Derek stood up on the mound, the coach said: "Okay, pitch!"

and Cecil ran across and slapped his head,

"How dare you call my pretty little pumpkin-heart a bitch?"

"Good Grief," the coach declared, and turned bright red.

He banished him to outfield, where he stood and looked around,

he saw his Derek, waved: "Hello my love!"

then suddenly the coach came running straight across the ground,

"I think you may have need of this here glove..."

Big Derek pitched the ball, the batter smacked it hard and high,

the coach yelled "Catch it!" then near took a fit,

it came down right near Cecil, who looked up and heard the cry,

he'd been admiring his new baseball mitt!

The coach put him on second base, as hoots came from the stands,

"Stay still right there, you won't do any harm,"

the batter hit the ball and it rolled right in Cecil's hands,

he threw it to first base - but underarm!

The time came round to bat, Big Derek struck out with a grunt,

then Cecil strode out proudly with his bat,

the coach walked up beside him, whispered in his ear: "You bunt,"

and Cecil turned and screamed at him: "You cat!"

The bases all were loaded, only one more run to go,

the umpire said to Cecil: "Walk a base,"

so Cecil asked him why, when all the pitches had been low,

then soundly slapped the umpire in the face!

They lost the game by foul, and Cecil sacked, big Derek too,

they left the field to harsh, derisive calls,

Big Derek said: "My precious, what did he just say to you?"

and Cecil sobbed: "He said I had four balls!"

 more of my FUNNY POEMS here
more BIG DEREK and CECIL here