I bought a
talking parrot from the pet shop,
three languages, apparently,
assured me it would prattle non-stop,
I took it
home - I needed company.
It sat upon
its perch in gloomy silence,
conversation, needed more,
a word or
two, no need for oral brilliance -
I went to
see the man back at the store.
"He could be
rather frightened, feeling terror,
day from the shop, and oh so young,
I think you
ought to buy this little mirror,
a friend is
what he needs to loose his tongue."
That must be
it, a friend that he can talk to,
forgot about the parrot's age,
some other bird that they can squawk to,
I put the
little mirror in his cage.
Four days -
he never said a single sentence,
I went back
to the store, said with a frown:
that parrot to me under pretence,
said a single verb or noun!"
said: "Well, that isn't so surprising,
are usually flying, on the wing,
needs a little exercising,
buy this ladder, and this swing."
I took them
home, the parrot better thank me,
I'd spent a
lot of money on this pet,
he sat there
on the swing and stared out blankly,
I wish that
I had learned to be a vet!
went by, and then I had a brainstorm,
was an anti-sociopath,
cleaning, just like in a rainstorm,
I went and
bought the little guy a bath!
A week went
by, I went back to the dealer,
the bird?" he asked - that's when I cried:
know a voodoo zombie healer
terrible - the little bugger died!"
awful," said the guy, "then I'll refund you,
from all our other talking birds,
I don't want
you to think that I have conned you,"
"Oh no," I
moaned, "it said some parting words."
he said, "You see, I wasn't lying,
pet I sell is guaranteed,"
I said: "its
final words as it was dying
that goddam pet shop sell bird seed?'"
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