I have a pygmy army, we’re about to win the war

And only people three feet tall can join,

Al Qaeda will be targeted, that’s what were training for

We’ll shoot all terrorists – right in the groin.

We’ll blow away their manhood, Hey, look Ma…no family jewels,

We’ll take them out, from Melbourne through to Munich,

You wanna fight like cowards? Take a look at my new rules…

I hope you like your new life as a eunuch!

I can hear them now, falsetto wailing, squeaky keening,

As poisoned darts fly all around the nations,

My army will give “blow job” an entirely different meaning,

With poisoned tips and covert operations.

They will have their Paradise – a morbid, squealy world!

Terrorists, a cryin’ and a dirgin’,

Walking round and talking like a bunch of teenage girls

(Oh, by the way, we won’t need all those virgins!)

I know you think I’m saying this stuff just to get my rocks off,

But wait till you see pygmies everywhere,

Al Qaeda won’t be very brave when we shoot all their cocks off

And don’t you lecture me on fighting fair!

We’ll win the war on terrorism, Bin Laden will be wrecked,

Come and join my pygmy friends and me,

Come and hear the laughter as the world has no respect

For enemies who must sit down to pee.