Every morning, shouting loudly, blimey – what’s the fuss?

“Outta bed, you lazy lump! You’ll miss the bloody bus!”

Should have gone to sleep, not watched the late night TV show

School is waiting, bus is coming. Bugger! Gotta go!

Drag my tired body down the front path like a bum,

“Toot – Toot” Todd goes by – a Chrysler driven by his Mum!

Couldn’t pick me up – oh no – too far beneath their state,

I’m a public kiddy and the school bus is my fate.

All my life I’ve waited here beside the letter box,

How come I’m a prefect in the school of hardest knocks?

Hear a squeal of brakes, the bus looks like a prison wagon,

All the kids are monkeys and the driver is a dragon!

Sit right up the back and try and keep out of the way,

Trouble seems to find me on this bus most every day,

Jennifer smiles sweetly, I smile back and act real cool,

Maybe some good yet might come from staying back in school!

Singing starts – I hold my ears – the latest girlie junk,

No-one knows the words to decent music, loud and punk,

Delving in my school bag I espy some stale bread,

Look around the bus – a target – yep, the driver’s head.

Fire one! A perfect shot! Her hat falls to the floor,

Suddenly the bus has stopped, I’m frog-marched to the door,

Loud applause from all as I am tossed into the street,

“School in thirty minutes boy, you’d better move your feet!”

Once again a victim, school bus seems to cast a spell,

Why it makes me late each day I swear I cannot tell,

Maybe it’s the driver? Or the school or faculty?

Gotta get a skateboard, coz my feet are killing me!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here