Sitting here and bubbling, troubling

Steaming mad at life’s cruel fate,

Germination, cultivation

All to end up on a plate?

Raised from seed and plied with feed,

Growing tall and green and strong,

Nurtured, weeded, feeling needed

How could life turn out so wrong?

Ripped and sliced and stripped and diced,

Surely not meant for this role?

Saturated, marinated

Now they call me casserole.

Pulled from bed and left for dead,

Oh, the shame and loss of face!

Cut, beheaded, roughly shredded

All for what? A bouillabaisse!

Rogan Josh or Chinese nosh,

Stroganoff it matters not,

Roasted, grated, violated

What a mixed-up melting pot!

How can you know how your stew

Has sacrificed to build a taste,

You close your eyes and gormandize!

Ahh, my death was such a waste.

Grown by those with rakes and hoes,

Helped to be all I could be,

What a deal! Now I’m a meal!

I wish I wasn’t celery!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here