C3PO sat silently, a bland look on his face,
the Tuscan Raider said: "I'll raise the lot!"
he turned his final card: a king - the robot had an ace,
so 3PO raked in another pot.

He passed the credits back to R2-D2 in a sack,
another gambler took the raider's seat,
he hadn't heard of 3PO and went on the attack
considering a droid an easybeat.

It happened each millennia, this contest on Naboo,
the biggest poker game in all of space,
with pots of millions, plus a shiny winners' trophy too,
attracting each and every single race.

The knockout rounds were over, now the final five would fight.
the game was five-card stud and limit-free,
four cambots hovered, beaming out on television live
to every corner of the galaxy.

The cyber dealer shuffled, then he dealt the final hand,
"A million" said the Jawan from Kiffu,
"I'll see you," said the Nubian, "and raise five hundred grand,"
"Good gracious" said C3PO "Me too!"

A Gungan pulled a laser, aimed it at the Wookie's guts,
"You fold, you hairy varmint, drop them cards!"
he disappeared - disintegrated by a pair of Hutts,
who always made the finest bodyguards.

The cards were dealt, the crowd was hushed, the cambots buzzed around,
the Nubian looked up: "I'll bet it all!"
The others quickly folded then there came a tiny sound
C3PO said: "Pardon me, I call."

The crowd burst out with catcalls, they were clearly all aghast,
their hisses mixed in with the jeers and boos,
they'd seen his cards the last time that a cambot floated past,
perhaps he'd blown his logic circuit fuse!

The Nubian said "Oh well, it was only for the laughs,
in every contest someone has to lose,"
he showed his cards: a piddly little pair: one and a halfs,
C3PO showed his: a pair of twos!

The crowd erupted, 3PO was treated like a God,
a droid was now the king of five-card drawers,
the biggest hero since that Jedi kid who flew the pod
back in the bad old days of Empire wars.

The interviewer was an Ewok, questions quick and hot,
he asked C3PO about his skill,
like how he knew just when to fold and when to push the pot,
and when to bet it all and take the kill.

"The secret," said C3PO, "is not so very tough,
I'm programmed for relations - protocol,
six million languages, including fold and raise and bluff,
it isn't really hard for me at all!"

The universe reacted when they heard him talk his play,
this droid was just an electronic cheat,
they took his winnings, and his cup, and sent him on his way,
he ended up with nothing in the street.

He turned to R2-D2 "This is such a heavy yoke,
I blame it all on you, R2, of course,
I never should have fibbed - the language just a silly joke,
I can't speak cards at all - I used the force!"

More of my FUNNY POEMS HERE