Why must witches have a warty nose?

and how come Princes always save the day?

It must be part of folklore, I suppose,

I'd change the rules if I could have my way.

My Princess would be plain and not too nice,

her gay step-father king as good as gold,

their castle would be overrun with mice,

and not one stable-boy would turn out bold.

A witch would help her find her heart's desire,

he'd be a pimply Prince who hated girls,

the potion would inflame him with a fire,

then elves would steal the diamonds and the pearls.

They'd have a dozen kids who turned out brats,

and live inside a tree trunk that was dead,

she'd try to feed the kids plus dogs and cats,

and wonder when they'd buy a double bed.

They'd take on boarders just to make ends meet,

a dragon would come in to rent a room,

he'd singe the drapes and wipe his dirty feet

while she would follow closely with a broom.

Her husband would be dead at thirty-three,

his job down in the mine would lay him flat,

she'd try and find work, in a factory

but everyone would say that she's too fat.

Yes, if I had my way they all would lose,

the kids would turn out bad and go to jails,

no happy-ever-after pleasure cruise -

It's lucky that I don't write fairy tales!

More of my FUNNY POEMS