I walked into the store called: "Wedding Wizards"

a million gifts for every bride and groom,

From pillow cases made from frill-neck lizards

to lava lamps that light the darkest room.

The girl behind the counter was a honey,

her voice could almost hypnotize a guy,

he'd nod his head and part with all his money,

then wake up with a gift and wonder why…

She glanced up from a book and started smiling,

I looked the kind of guy with lots of dough,

"You"ll need some help," she told me, so beguiling,

I looked her up and down and answered: "No."

It's lucky I'm immune to gorgeous girlies,

her 'kiss me' eyes were big and bright and blue,

a laugh revealed her perfect set of pearlies,

she whispered: "I've the perfect gift for you!"

She led me to the section marked as "Bedding"

and lay down on a bed shaped like a heart,

"Can you imagine this, after the wedding?

The newlyweds would get a loving start."

"You're right," I said, "but still-" she bade me quiet

then stripped her clothes - my goodness she was nice,

she lay back down "Perhaps you'd like to try it?

Then maybe you'd forget about the price."

That girl was very expert as a tester,

we tested out the dressing table too,

then tried the bathroom linen and manchester,

I really quite enjoyed it, wouldn't you?

It's lucky that there were no other buyers,

as we tried out the kitchenware and stuff,

then, somewhere in between the pots and fryers,

I heard her moan: "My God, I've had enough!"

Once fully clothed again, she winked discreetly,

"Well, maybe now you'd like to buy it all?

We've tested all those wedding gifts so sweetly,

I hope that you agree we had a ball."

I smiled "You may have got the wrong impression,

but I don't need to buy a thing from you,

I guess that you deserve a small confession:

I only came in here to use the loo!"
 

more of my FUNNY POEMS here